Moments Here and There

What I will remember from these days is the Sunday morning cuddling, all three of us in bed together, awake but rubbing sleep from our eyes. All of us taking turns smiling and stretching and Laurel cooing in response to our good mornings.

I will remember her fast asleep in the Moby Wrap, fingers in her mouth, warm and snug against my chest. Strolling through the park or the grocery store, no matter where I am, I take my time and go slowly. I will remember her waking up suddenly when there is a loud noise, only momentarily frightened until she catches my eye, breathes in my scent, and she remembers where she is and drifts off again.

I will remember the way that she kicks her skinny naked legs when I change her diaper. Strong legs, she is constantly pushing against anything that brushes her feet, pushing herself up my body when I hold her. Stiff as a board when I try to prop her on my knee to burp her.

I will remember both of us falling asleep in the big chair in her room at 3 am, the way her body melts into a deeply relaxed state when I nurse her, except for her hands, which she balls into tight little fists and holds against her face. I will remember looking down at the fuzzy softness of her baby hair, the way her ears are exactly like mine. Reading Good Night, Moon every single night, and whispering hush when I turn out the lights.

Will I remember my meals always getting cold before I can eat them? Too fast showers, and spit up on the shoulder of my last clean shirt? Numbing fatigue and fuzzy thoughts. I doubt it...the second she flashes one of her ear to ear grins, I think only of how much I love her, that's she's the most beautiful thing in the world, and that I can't wait to see what she does next.