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This blog is almost 20 years old and has mostly been a journal shared with a few people I know from real life who are interested in me enough to keep up. I frequently revisit the archives myself because it's an honest account of where I was or what I thought about at different points in life. Of course, some opinions have evolved over time and I no longer agree with all my hot takes, but there are more than 1,000 posts that document my adventures and parenting, life philosophy and accomplishments, missteps and good and bad luck. I don't put a ton of pictures or links, because I'm not selling anything and clicks don't matter. In recent years, I've come to enjoy the challenge of writing text over telling a story with photos. I guess, even though I'm putting this out there publicly and with my name on it, this is really mostly for me. 

Last spring I deleted my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I loved Facebook. I found it to be a very useful tool for staying in touch with people. I liked to share what I was doing with other people and similar to this blog, I put out thousands of posts. In time, I came to understand that I was generating content for a machine that was serving up dangerous information to people I loved. They logged on to see my cute and adventurous kids and stayed for the propaganda. Most (all?) social media platforms that are free function in this way, farming content from willing users, generating revenue through holding the audience captive. Doesn't matter if the content is true or helpful, and things that induce anger are often the most profitable. 

My social media departure was the result of several factors. First, and most annoyingly, my Instagram account was compromised. Restoring it and keeping it secure became an ongoing challenge. I didn't post very much there, just viewed content about homeschooling and gardening, so that was an easier one to delete. Then my homeschool group opted to move off Facebook and onto the Mighty Network for organizing playdates and so forth. Mighty is a private social platform you pay for, so there are no ads. It's just the content from a specific group of users that you choose. So I didn't need to keep a Facebook account to see which playground we were meeting at. 

My Facebook exit was undramatic. I did not make any sort of announcement, although I did message a few people to get their phone numbers or email addresses. There's a safety measure that holds your deleted account for a few weeks before it asks you if you are really sure. I think most users probably change their minds, but I clicked "I'm sure" and that was that. 15 years of posts and photos gone. At first it just felt liberating. I could control how I viewed media to a larger degree. When I wanted to catch up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while we actually had news to share with each other. Occasionally I get an email from someone who wants to share an event or promote something, so I know that people who really want to find me, can. Mostly it just shifted the burden to actually go to events or hang out with friends in person if I wanted to stay connected with them. I sent more letters in the mail. 

Our family was in a big transition stage at that point. Our next door neighbors and close friends had also moved away when we moved from our house into the apartment. The apartment complex was largely inhabited by a generation of people who didn't even seem comfortable saying hello when passing in the stairwell. I basically had to get in the car and drive somewhere just to talk to someone outside of my immediate family! A very big change! I was used to calling out the kitchen window to ask the neighbor for some dishwasher soap or an egg if I ran out, and getting together for tea or beer on the porch most days. We've since moved to a new house, and are starting to meet neighbors. I imagine in another ten years I'll have new close friends here. Life is an ongoing cycle of relationships expanding and contracting.

One surprising thing was that I didn't miss the content very much, but I craved the act of scrolling, and even a year later it feels compelling in a weird way, especially when I'm tired or overwhelmed. I have a Substack account but found the endless scroll too enticing if the app was installed. Instead I opt to just read whatever I'm subscribed to as it lands in my email inbox. I support a few writers and it feels more like reading a magazine. Another observation is that I am experiencing the world a little bit differently. Like we're all at the same party but I'm the designated driver. I'm out of the loop on trends and hot takes, for sure. I never even had a Tiktok account, but Facebook was sort of a conduit for reels from many sources, and I was surprised at how much exposure I had to all platforms via just one. It's definitely made me think about how my kids are experiencing apps and smart phones and social media.