Dear Staples Customers and Staff,

I'm sorry.

When I brought my newly-walking one year old into your store today, I did not anticipate that her eyes would light up like I had taken her to the circus and she would pull down every single one of your 1/2 inch binders and lay them carefully on the floor.

I had no idea that she would move on to the packages of brightly colored tabs and select two of the packages that I did not wish to purchase. I did not know that she would resist all attempts to direct, and then distract in order to get her to let go of said packages. I did not know that forcefully removing them from her tightly clenched hands would cause her to howl and shriek so loudly my ears rang.

I probably should have anticipated her insistence in holding my debit card, and her loud protests when I had to borrow it for approximately 7 seconds in order to swipe it through the machine. Now I know that she wishes to walk herself and not be carried and will contort her body in some mysterious way that makes her not-quite-twenty-pounds feel like a hundred and twenty.

And I will now be better prepared for escapes across the parking lot. I'm getting good at balancing purse, keys and a bag of groceries while capturing a tiny, running human, and then wrestling that tiny human into her car seat. To all the customers in the parking lot at Staples....I can assure you that a DNA test would prove this child is my own flesh and blood, lest you think that I was trying to kidnap her. She was definitely giving off a HELP!-ALERT!-NO!-NO!-NO! kind of vibe.

And most importantly, I vow to now carry plenty of Trader Joe's cinnamon flavored alphabet cookies in order to bribe my precious daughter through the mundane errands of daily life.

Sincerely,

A Tired Mom