Hurry Up and Wait

In a fit of early pregnancy enthusiasm/paranoia I signed up for one of those Babycenter email lists where you get a weekly update and they compare the size of your baby to some fruit or vegetable. (Usually an odd comparison. This week it's Swiss chard.) I immediately regretted giving my real email address and Babycenter is relentless in its ability to skirt any type of filter I try to set up to divert these ridiculous emails to my spam folder. And don't even get me started on the unsubscribe feature.

Now that I'm full-term (37 weeks), the update was all about how to keep yourself occupied during this I'm-fat-I-can't-sleep-I-have-to-pee period while you wait for labor to start. Get a haircut. Make a lunch date with friends. Read a novel. Schedule a spa treatment. Those were the suggestions. For pregnant ladies living the leisurely life, who are apparently not working, but also have a lot of discretionary income.

Those things didn't really seem practical. Instead, I got a job, decided to head up a committee to organize a home renovation workshop for 100 people in March, and despite my original intentions to keep this month very chill and clear...I just can't stop RSVPing to community meetings. I'm a community organizing junky. Do not complain to me about crime or traffic and then say, "someone should do something about it." Because I will, and I'll make you come to the meeting with me. It runs in my family. I have a cousin who is not even 25 and is the mayor of his town.

I figure this is the best way to coax this kid out. And if he decides to stay put until 42 weeks like Laurel did, well, then I'll have had a very productive month and won't be bored.

Just so you all know, 42 weeks will be February 12. That's Abe Lincoln's birthday. And also M's. That's more or less the end of the line for this pregnancy because they get all antsy and start fiddling with you to get the baby out once you've gone "post-date".  As Laurel puts it, "I wouldn't come out so a doctor cut me out with a knife!" Yes, we have discussed the different ways babies come into the world and she gleefully recounts her entry, much to the horror of the people standing in line next to us at the Coffee Tree. Sorry about that. (At least she didn't start talking about vaginas. Oh, the downsides of being honest with your kids.)

I called M yesterday to make arrangements for some minor this-or-that and he yelled at me for using the phone. "Only call if you are in labor!" he told me. Apparently he cut off his boss mid-conversation to answer the call or something like that. Therefore, I will now be texting him unless something exciting starts happening with my uterus.

So, enjoy the wait with me. Remember we are a family who blogs and tweets and facebooks and all that, so you will definitely know when this baby is born. No need to worry that you were left out of the loop. There will be an announcement and probably 13,000 pictures.