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This blog is almost 20 years old and has mostly been a journal shared with a few people I know from real life who are interested in me enough to keep up. I frequently revisit the archives myself because it's an honest account of where I was or what I thought about at different points in life. Of course, some opinions have evolved over time and I no longer agree with all my hot takes, but there are more than 1,000 posts that document my adventures and parenting, life philosophy and accomplishments, missteps and good and bad luck. I don't put a ton of pictures or links, because I'm not selling anything and clicks don't matter. In recent years, I've come to enjoy the challenge of writing text over telling a story with photos. I guess, even though I'm putting this out there publicly and with my name on it, this is really mostly for me. 

Last spring I deleted my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I loved Facebook. I found it to be a very useful tool for staying in touch with people. I liked to share what I was doing with other people and similar to this blog, I put out thousands of posts. In time, I came to understand that I was generating content for a machine that was serving up dangerous information to people I loved. They logged on to see my cute and adventurous kids and stayed for the propaganda. Most (all?) social media platforms that are free function in this way, farming content from willing users, generating revenue through holding the audience captive. Doesn't matter if the content is true or helpful, and things that induce anger are often the most profitable. 

My social media departure was the result of several factors. First, and most annoyingly, my Instagram account was compromised. Restoring it and keeping it secure became an ongoing challenge. I didn't post very much there, just viewed content about homeschooling and gardening, so that was an easier one to delete. Then my homeschool group opted to move off Facebook and onto the Mighty Network for organizing playdates and so forth. Mighty is a private social platform you pay for, so there are no ads. It's just the content from a specific group of users that you choose. So I didn't need to keep a Facebook account to see which playground we were meeting at. 

My Facebook exit was undramatic. I did not make any sort of announcement, although I did message a few people to get their phone numbers or email addresses. There's a safety measure that holds your deleted account for a few weeks before it asks you if you are really sure. I think most users probably change their minds, but I clicked "I'm sure" and that was that. 15 years of posts and photos gone. At first it just felt liberating. I could control how I viewed media to a larger degree. When I wanted to catch up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while we actually had news to share with each other. Occasionally I get an email from someone who wants to share an event or promote something, so I know that people who really want to find me, can. Mostly it just shifted the burden to actually go to events or hang out with friends in person if I wanted to stay connected with them. I sent more letters in the mail. 

Our family was in a big transition stage at that point. Our next door neighbors and close friends had also moved away when we moved from our house into the apartment. The apartment complex was largely inhabited by a generation of people who didn't even seem comfortable saying hello when passing in the stairwell. I basically had to get in the car and drive somewhere just to talk to someone outside of my immediate family! A very big change! I was used to calling out the kitchen window to ask the neighbor for some dishwasher soap or an egg if I ran out, and getting together for tea or beer on the porch most days. We've since moved to a new house, and are starting to meet neighbors. I imagine in another ten years I'll have new close friends here. Life is an ongoing cycle of relationships expanding and contracting.

One surprising thing was that I didn't miss the content very much, but I craved the act of scrolling, and even a year later it feels compelling in a weird way, especially when I'm tired or overwhelmed. I have a Substack account but found the endless scroll too enticing if the app was installed. Instead I opt to just read whatever I'm subscribed to as it lands in my email inbox. I support a few writers and it feels more like reading a magazine. Another observation is that I am experiencing the world a little bit differently. Like we're all at the same party but I'm the designated driver. I'm out of the loop on trends and hot takes, for sure. I never even had a Tiktok account, but Facebook was sort of a conduit for reels from many sources, and I was surprised at how much exposure I had to all platforms via just one. It's definitely made me think about how my kids are experiencing apps and smart phones and social media.

You know, with everything that's going on right now....

That's become a common catch phrase, sprinkled into conversations, accompanied by a hand gesture towards the sky. Obviously people are carrying on, because what else are you going to do? ICE has been very active in our region lately, and this week they came around to our co-op and had a brief encounter with a group of kids out on a walk with some teachers, including one of my kids. My kids are at little personal risk especially if they "comply with law enforcement" which is kind of a gross way of describing the act of doing nothing while you watch someone get snatched up by anonymous armed and masked men in unmarked rental vehicles and ferreted off to who-knows-where for who-knows-how-long. In this case, nobody was taken in front of them, although a young person at a bus stop a few blocks away was not so lucky. He was not the only one to be arrested that day in the neighborhood. Sometimes arrests make the news, and they might even publish a Go Fund Me. But these highlighted stories are a drop in the bucket compared to what neighborhood watch groups are documenting. 

It turns my stomach to think about all of it.

Sarah Menkedick wrote this essay and it's long and emotional, a beautifully written account of a terrible topic. The news cycle is bonkers and I know it's hard to find reliable sources or make sense of what is real and what is click bait. That's why it's important to look around your own city, to take a minute to listen to a woman you met at a playgroup, whose kid you shared a snack with one time. Real humans of the news cycle, if you will. Obviously there are calls to action we all must respond to, but I think the very first step is bearing witness, listening, acknowledging, and believing, even when it is painful to hear.

Home School High School

I did not expect to be homeschooling this long, and things do change a bit in the teenage years. But here we are and it's honestly working out fairly well. 

The first and biggest benefit is our ability to prioritize physical, mental and spiritual health. Tired people cannot regulate emotions very well and teens are even more susceptible as they go through puberty. When things are going off the rails, we revisit this and focus on it until it's regulated and then honestly, many problems clear themselves up quite easily. And if I'm ever in a panic about how all this is going, I can usually reorient myself with some sleep and healthy practices. Either it turns out I was worried about nothing, or the solution will come to me very easily, if a legitimate problem did in fact exist. 

The second benefit is flexibility. Due to this flexible nature of homeschooling in general, we were able to pivot and spend several months in Mexico City, while M worked in person with his team there. But it's not just geographic flexibility, it's also the idea that we can elevate some subjects when it makes sense (focusing on art made a ton of sense there since the scene is so vibrant and ever changing), and deprioritize things that are easy to come back to (like math). 

Our state requires that certain subjects be studied and provides guidelines for how many hours. We are filling out a transcript where Laurel puts together components of her self-directed learning that fit into these categories. One credit of Environmental Studies included an author study of Rachel Carson, notebooking prompts with a Harbor & Sprout guide on mycology and leading a class on foraging for peers at our co-op. Amazing, if you ask me! 

At some point, her evaluator and I can sign off on this and give her a home school diploma. However, as I am not an accredited institution, a high school diploma actually means very little on its own. So the more important thing is to discern short and long term goals, and design a course of study that walks you towards those things. And of course, to collect artifacts of growth and accomplishment, which will open doors along the way. 

DITL January Homeschool

Here's what Julie Bogart of Brave Writer calls a narrative sketch. The purpose is to jot down your activities one day a month or week in order to "catch" what actually happened, as opposed to what you planned. 

This month is weird because two of our five family members are not here! Laurel and M are in Mexico going to Spanish school and working in person, respectively. They are definitely still involved in the homeschool routine, though. For instance, Laurel and I met with my aunts and sisters on zoom this week for our monthly book club (the Narrative of Frederick Douglass) and M is crafting Python lessons for the kids and meeting them virtually when they need help. 

This week was weird because a massive snowstorm dumped a foot of snow on our city and 37 of 90 plows broke down during the storm, leaving a a big mess behind. We made a massive pile of snow when we cleared our driveway and all the little kids on the street came over and helped Max dig a huge tunnel through it, that will probably be there for quite a while. It turned bitterly cold so our regular activities have been canceled and we spent a lot of time indoors. 

Today we finally made it out of the neighborhood and went to my parents house to visit. They had my 4 year old nephew there and there was a lot of wrestling, pillow fights and fort building that went on. We had coffee and breakfast together and then the boys and I returned home. I went on a Zoom for "office hours" for a Brave Writer training I'm doing and we talked about reluctant writers and how to stay focused on writer's voice when the mechanics and handwriting are lagging (and cooperation). Marko started his virtual English Language Arts class with my friend, who is a secondary English teacher. Max worked on a little homophone book he is making. 

We all did some Duolingo to practice our Spanish. The boys both worked on a page of math from their Richard Fisher math workbooks. Max practiced some cursive. Marko wrote in his journal for photo class (he and M are taking a photo class on Discord that has lessons and assignments on taking better photos). Marko also worked on typing some descriptions in his slide deck of things he has done this year. We added some more notes to our February brainstorming/dumping of things we have going on next month. 

They are playing video games with their friends now. Later Marko will help Max with koans, and Max will meet virtually with M about it in the morning. Marko requested leeks in our grocery order and they finally arrived today so maybe he will make potato leek soup? We have a lot of chicken pot pie left so we may put that off until tomorrow. 

2025

I recently participated in a solstice reflection workshop facilitated by my long time friend, Steph. We met in kindergarten and somehow have stayed in touch across the decades and continents. It has been an absolute delight to read her essays and participate in her workshops. We have been meeting quarterly at the solstice and equinox since last year. It was really fun to see this come full circle. The other participants are from many countries around the world and it really feels good to connect in this way, like we are building a web of peace around this planet, one little tethered connection at a time.  

2025 was a hard year for me personally. And my problems seem trite compared to what some friends and family are facing. 

Last winter, one of Laurel's book club picks was the Diary of Anne Frank. This was a re-read for me, and I was surprised at how delightful her writing was, how normal of a teenage girl she seemed, and how one of the biggest challenges for her was boredom. After we read the book, we watched a mini-series called a Small Light, which tells the story of Miep and Jan Gies, who helped the Frank family while they were in hiding. Prior to viewing this I had a really difficult time understanding how people allowed the arrest, deportation and murder of their neighbors. Did they really not know??!! But this show did an excellent job of showing that resisting or aiding targeted people would put you in grave danger...but by doing nothing about it or looking the other way, you could live your life and remain safe from the threats. Children going to prison because of their ethnicity? That is so ridiculous it's hard to believe any politician is selling it. But it happened then, and it's happening now. It was also interesting to see how Miep and Jan - a married couple -  didn't even share details of their resistance work with each other...too dangerous for all involved. 

Still, good things happened. Joy. Connection. Curiosity.

We moved into a new neighborhood and the kids are delighted to have their own bedrooms, and a library and swimming pool and park they can walk to.

We took a trip to Canada to visit our former neighbors from Braddock Avenue. We went surfing for the first time, and spent a ton of time swimming and kayaking in the lakes, enjoying the quiet evenings, and eating fresh seafood.

We spent almost 4 months together in Mexico City, met so many amazing people and absolutely immersed ourselves in art, food and learning Spanish. Laurel and M are returning for one more month this winter, and I'm sure we'll all return again in the future.

M and I got out a bit more as adults, saw some cool shows, rediscovered some creative practices and we are both really enjoying language learning.

The biggest thing I learned in 2025 was to hold the space for enchantment and horror at the same time. Terrible things are happening, and we must do whatever we can to fight them. But it is a marathon, so you must pace yourself. Work enough, and then stop. Linger at the table. Be absolutely unbothered by traffic, by inconvenience. Be absolutely enchanted by the ripple across the lake at sunset, by a surfer catching a good wave, the way a child's face lights up when they first start to read. For many years poetry has been a salve for me, a touchstone for difficult times. 

Do all the good you can

By all the means you can

In all the ways you can

In all the places you can

At all the times you can

To all the people you can

As long as you ever can.

-John Wesley

Miscellaneous Thoughts on Living In an Enormous City

Mexico City is a very modern city...skyscrapers, an underground metro, wifi everywhere. But the process for residential recycling is this:

1) recycling truck stops in the middle of the street, blocking all traffic

2) a man gets out and rings a bell while walking up and down the street

3) neighbors carry out bundled cardboard and glass and so forth, or sometimes just bags of mixed recycling. 

4) the rest of the garbage men collect and sort the trash in the street and load it onto the truck

There are so many jobs here, or at least when you go to a business there are a lot of employees. Restaurants are staffed up. Stores have multiple people inside to offer assistance the second you walk in. Security guards stand at every door. Workers are employed by the city to sweep the park sidewalks every single morning. A man mops the stairs outside of our apartment every single morning. All five flights. On Monday mornings the whole city smells like Fabuloso. And if you aren't employed, you sell stuff.  I was sitting at a cafe with my Spanish tutor and was offered candy (typical), pumpkin laser pointers (not typical but it was Halloween), finger puppets, and tiny potted cactuses! There was a man selling some gorgeous MCM tables on the sidewalk. Two ladies open up a stand with second hand clothing every morning at the end of our block. It's really expensive here, so even people with college degrees and professional jobs, have side hustles. Maybe Uber, maybe running tours for tacos or Lucha Libre, or teaching Spanish, or teaching art to kids, or they're in a band. 

A lot of people wear uniforms to work. The nannies wear scrubs. The guy that opens the door in the apartment building wears a security uniform. The people that work in the pharmacies wear white coats. There are people that walk around with public health information and they have special vests on emblazoned with their political party (Morena! Currently in control so it's everywhere.) 

The background noise is constant. A solo trumpet player circling the block, a man shouting about fruit for sale from the back of a truck, the amplified recordings of the junk buyers looking for scrap metal, the horns honking when gridlock happens, the whistle of cyclists and police officers, someone singing while washing dishes. 

I do not worry about my kids being too loud, at all. 

Bots and Docs

I recently spent a few days playing around with a variety of AI bots to get help with analyzing my blood work and imaging from the last year. There's a lot of research and development going on with pharmaceutical treatments and cures for my condition. The FDA actually just approved a drug regimen that could halt the progress entirely, before it breaks my bones or trashes my kidneys. My condition involves frequent monitoring of a dozen or so blood markers, and it can be kind of dizzying to scroll through MyChart screens and try to figure out if the changes I'm looking at are noteworthy. Those little red exclamation points can be unnerving!! But they don't always indicate an emergency. I also have two other benign conditions that can impact how my disease markers could be interpreted. I have spent a lot of time trying to explain them, and they aren't always documented in a useful way.  ChatGBT ended up being very helpful. It generated easy to view charts of how my labs are changing, concise paragraphs I can paste into MyChart to alert each new doctor of my benign, but relevant, conditions, and a list of lifestyle and diet choices I should prioritize right now. 

In the United States it is imperative that you communicate relevant information to your doctor in the first 1-2 minutes of an appointment. I have learned a lot about asking for documentation, and the doctors themselves now use AI notetaking apps which actually really improve the quality of my records, and hopefully save them a lot of time charting! 

Risks include sharing all of this personal data with a profit driven corporation, of course. And the AIs got some things wrong. They corrected them when I pointed it out, but I wouldn't just load your results in and say what's wrong with me? The bots will tell you clearly that they are not doctors. However with targeted requests, it gave me exactly what I was looking for, saving a lot of time combing through research papers.

Another important factor about choosing when to start treatment and which treatment to choose is cost. The patient advocacy groups for my disease run monthly financial seminars and AI bots can really help to synthesize this information. (Healthcare for All! Someday, hopefully, but until then the reality is that finances do influence what you can access.)  Unfortunately the myeloma specialist in my city retired and has not been replaced. I could travel to another National Cancer Institute, wait for them to hire someone new here in Pittsburgh, or continue to receive care at the community hospital.

I've been really diligent about educating myself on my medical issues. For the first year, every doctor said it was IBS or perimenopause, a rheumatological issue or...the vast majority of time....stress. I knew there was something else going on. I can literally feel it in my bones! So, as much as it sucked to get a diagnosis, it was also sort of affirming. I think the only reason I have weathered the last five years and remain in relatively good overall health is that I am pretty devoted to all the recommended lifestyle choices that fend off chronic diseases. Eat fiber, chew a lot, sleep enough, move your body. Hydrate. Get some sun. Read poetry. Laugh with your kids. Hold your husband's hand and linger over coffee in bed every morning. Prescriptions for good living. 

So my verdict on AI is that it is a very useful tool for both doctors and patients,  but that the lack of regulation around it definitely means your data is not secure or private. Use it with caution.

DITL CDMX Version

I woke up as I do most days, with coffee in bed with M. Usually he makes it. We are back in the Nuevo Leon apartment, which I am very grateful for because it has a lot more space. However it has a lot more noise, as it is on a busy street and Mexico City is a very loud place. The first thing I heard today was the scrap truck and a lot of horns. 

Today was a special day because it was Laurel's birthday. We were able to find a Feliz Cumpleanos banner, and hung it up in the living room. The boys gave Laurel their birthday present, which was a set of very nice alcohol markers and some special paper. M and I gave her a new watch and a gift certificate to have her nails done. M packed his bags to run to work, and the kids and I had a slow start morning with school in pajamas and a breakfast made of what we could scrounge from the fridge. We had papaya, pineapple, toast and yogurt. Marko started off his school by watching some videos from Khan Academy and taking a unit test. He is working on Middle School physics right now. Max and I read a section of the Cricket magazine ( in English ) in which we read four news stories and had to decide which one was made up. Max is in fourth grade now, so a lot of his reading is done independently. I do try to listen to him read out loud several times a week to make sure that his fluency and reading comprehension are developing. We spent a lot of time reading these stories back and forth and then discussing what parts of them seem to believable. In the end we did not guess right though.

Laurel is working on writing a novel, as she does every November. Even though nanowrimo is no longer operational she continues this tradition. I think this is the fourth year she has produced somewhere between 20,000 and 30,000 words in a month. We usually add this fiction writing component and take away math. (We call it No Math November, because aliteration makes every routine or ritual more beloved.) However Laurel has been really struggling to get through Algebra 1. It's gone on a few years now, and both of us have decided that she has to do a little bit of math every day to try to get this wrapped up by the end of the year. 

The kids are also focusing on learning to speak Spanish. We got a solid jump start on this study by enrolling any Spanish language school during the first 4 weeks of our trip here. Now we meet a tutor on Saturdays, and during the week they practice using Duolingo, the Ella verbs app, and listen to Spanish language YouTube and spotify. They write sentences telling about what they've done, and of course practice in situ around the city. This morning we went out on an errand to pick up cupcakes for Laurel's birthday, and on the way back saw a vendor with a basket on a bicycle. The kids knew that this was called tacos de canasta, because we watched a documentary about the different types of tacos. This type has a very distinctive blue plastic bag that lines the basket. Marko is eager to try any kind of new food on the street, so he took responsibility for that transaction. Everyone agreed that the tacos were tasty, and also they are extremely affordable. Three tacos for 24 pesos, which is about $1.25 US dollar. 

After the errand we returned home for some more school work, playing video games online with friends, eating some snacks, and waiting for M to get home from the office. Normally he comes home around 5:00 or 6:00 in the evening but today he came home early so we could go together to the Cat Cafe which was Laurel's special request for her birthday outing. This turned out to be a delightful and relaxing excursion, which also gave us the opportunity to practice some more Spanish. I complimented another customer on her cute cat themed glasses. And we chatted with the staff about the cats that were up for adoption. 

After the Cat Cafe, M took the kids to the park where there is both a playground and some workout equipment, and I came home to rest, because my energy reserves are very low these days. 

Unfortunately during this trip my blood work has been trending in a negative direction in terms of disease progression. (I was diagnosed with smoldering multiple myeloma earlier this year, which is a precursor stage of multiple myeloma. It requires no treatment, but frequent monitoring because you don't want to let the disease progress too far before beginning treatment.) My main symptom is fatigue, and it has been very tricky to handle this while we're in Mexico City and the kids don't have the independence to move around the city by themselves as they do in Pittsburgh. And there are so many cool things here that we are not doing, I feel guilty about staying home so much.

We have found a nice group of homeschoolers, and go to parkour classes, art classes, and museum outings several times a week, but there's nothing I can drop the kids off at.

Another notable event of the day, is that I saw my first fender bender traffic accident involving two cars. We have seen several moto and bicycle accidents where people skid out and fall down, but this was the first time I actually saw a car hit another car. This is notable after our years living on Braddock Avenue, where high speed crashes in which multiple vehicles were totaled happened with an alarming frequency. So despite the traffic being completely bonkers in this city, maybe people are better drivers here. Another thing I really like about the streets here, is that most of them are one way. So when you are walking around as a pedestrian you really only have to cross one direction of traffic at a time and then there will be a traffic island or something to stand on while you wait to cross the other side.

Overall we are having a pretty relaxing and unschooly time of it here. Generally I am pretty satisfied with what the kids choose to work on in a day, and as long as I find a private space to meet with each kid one on one I can provide the accountability piece that is really important, mostly for my comfort. There are seemingly unlimited opportunities to observe and participate in all kinds of culture here and we will probably be thinking about what we've learned during this trip for many years to come. 

I said that I wanted to come here to learn Spanish and to meet some Mexicans and have some real conversations about topics that matter to me...for instance education policy, art, poverty, literacy, Venezuela and other headline related issues, perceptions of the US, and what it's like to grow up in this country. I've been very lucky to meet some people who have enthusiastically shared their opinions with me, but it shows up in unexpected places, and it's honestly really hard and humbling to have these conversations in Spanish.

So my advice (to myself and to everyone) remains.... remember that you are on time for what the universe has in store for you. Take it slow and pay attention. You already know what to do.

The Sun Came Out!

The last few weeks have seen a lot of rain and overcast skies here. The rain situation across the whole country has actually been terrible this weekend, with widespread flooding in several states, destruction of towns and loss of life. Here in CDMX it seemed to mainly flood the Metro system and any sunken roadway, which makes traffic. (But everything makes traffic here.) The mood of people generally seemed to be a little more annoyed, a little quicker to honk horns in gridlock. I even saw two men get into a literal fistfight after a small collision between a car and a bicycle. This happened on our street after a box truck sheered off a massive limb of a tree, dropping it onto some power lines, dangling dangerously over Avenida Nuevo Leon. Eventually a fleet of bomberos arrived, but it was probably a good 30 minutes of rush hour traffic swerving around tree branches and electrical cables. It was an extraordinary enough event that many passersby stopped to look or take a photo. But there was also a steady wave of commuter cyclists pouring down the street nearly running directly into the power lines as it got dark, even after the police closed the road to traffic. Lots of horns honking and police blowing their whistles. This story would not surprise any Chilango. They say "Mexico, Magico" or sometimes the slightly more vulgar "Pinche Mexico, te amo." Basically, this place is crazy, but people love it, despite that or maybe because of that.

I had to navigate the medical system for the first time. One of the kids got sick, but we were able to get a doctor to come to the house, provide a thorough exam, and give me a list of medicine. I went across the street to one of three pharmacies on the street. There are much cheaper ways to do this, but even with name brand medicine and a house call from an English speaking doctor, the total cash price was still under $200 US. 

So rainy season is winding down, hopefully we will be back out doing fun things around the city in the coming weeks and all of our family members will be feeling better. 

One Month

It has been a month. El tiempo ha pasado rapidísimo. Walk Spanish language school was intense and at times exhausting. We arrived on a Sunday night and started Monday morning. Getting homeschool kids who generally enjoy a very relaxed schedule, up and to a cafe at a different location each day, in CDMX traffic, by 9 am was a challenge. However, it turned out to be an overwhelmingly positive experience. We loved our teachers, and the instruction was fun but challenging. They spoke to us in Spanish almost all the time, offering explanations in English as necessary. I have several years of Spanish study under my belt- I studied Spanish in high school, and worked in a bilingual school for two years. Oral fluency has long been challenging for me, but I can read and understand fairly well. The kids were basically coming in cold with a few weeks of Duolingo practice and exposure to whatever Lucha Libre matches M shared with them. This made their growth over a few weeks especially exciting. 

We finished school each day around 1 and for the most part began our journey back to the apartment straight away, often on foot. If the walk is less than an hour, you may as well just walk, to save yourself the trouble getting gridlocked in an Uber. Getting groceries, finding dry outdoor places for Max to run around in, figuring out what to do with trash and recycling...all of these little daily tasks take a lot of thought. Bathrooms are very common in sit down cafes and restaurants and are free. But in the parks you need some coins to get access. They are staffed by someone who will hand you a few squares of toilet paper. Not actually a bad system as the public restrooms remain clean and safe, but I found that I needed a lot more coins to account for four people using the bathroom when we go out. 

It is rainy season, the rainiest rainy season in the history of meteorology here. It is often sunny in the morning and will rain somewhere in the city at some point in the afternoon most days. Sometimes, though, the rain is widespread and heavy. Umbrellas are sometimes forbidden in the museums, as are backpacks. But you definitely want to carry a full arsenal of umbrellas and ponchos at all times, so bring extra pesos for the bag check. But don't leave anything valuable in that bag, so bring a secondary, small bag to bring your wallet and phone with you. If you do not bring a poncho it is guaranteed to rain on you. 

I designated a week to be a sort of rest week, to catch up on non-Spanish school work and clean the apartment and try to figure out some more meals to cook at home. We also connected with some of the homeschoolers/unschoolers here and are trying out some of the activities they do. Parkour was a big hit.