Camping with Kids: More Lessons

Always with the lessons....

We went for five days to Poe Valley State Park at the beginning of August. This was the park we went to three years ago when Marko was a baby and Laurel was 3 years old. Three years ago, I wrote:

Twenty minutes later, there's a poopsplosion at the same time somebody falls in a mud puddle and you realize you did not pack enough dinners for the entire week and it is a good hour to the nearest town. You desperately want to be at an all-inclusive Sandals resort with childcare. Or at least some place with a television. But then it gets better. (And then worse. And then better again.)

Yup. This is still so, so true. Camping with kids - life with kids really - is just a series of terribly messy moments alternating with pure joy. I laughed when I read through the ten lessons I learned, especially since I still haven't gotten around to replacing the coolers. You really need coolers with drains! Also, we got rid of the Fit and bought a 4Runner, partly because of trips like these, so space is less of an issue. M continues to love running trail, so most of our camping trips involve trying to find a place that is adjacent to state or national forest. We've added fishing poles to our supplies, and the kids love to swim, so we also like to find places with water.

We still haven't bought a big tent. We have two smaller backpacking tents and we split up. Personally I prefer this. The tents can be set up very quickly by one person and we never have a problem finding spots big enough to pitch them. We have a fancy screened in dining canopy that we can hang out in if it rains or gets buggy. Max has a folding high chair and I also brought a pack n play to keep him contained while we were in camp.

The biggest challenge right now is balancing the needs of all three kids. They are each 3 years apart, so Marko is still sort of in nap territory, while Laurel never needs one. Max still needs three a day. Laurel is big enough to ride her bike around the campground, but I don't trust Marko to go quite as far. Laurel will eat pretty much anything, Marko is super picky and Max still breastfeeds but also likes to make a giant mess by feeding himself finger foods when we eat. I feel like all of my brainpower goes towards just figuring out the logistics of eating and sleeping for the three of them.

We spent a lot of time swimming at the beach. I took the kids on a hike where we found a few wild blueberry and some black raspberry bushes. M took the kids fishing. We sat around a fire, toasted marshmallows and made friends with the other campers. We brought bikes for the kids and they spent hours riding back and forth.

Poe Valley is a neat place to stay. They have a mix of tent and RV sites, some with electric and some without. There is only one bath house, but it is very well maintained and the cleanest I have ever seen. Water was hot and you could not control it, since you just hit the button and it turns on for 30 seconds (the only annoying thing about it was having to hit the button over and over again).

So, here are my lessons this time....

1) Foil packet dinners are bomb. We put mushrooms, bell peppers, pieces of sweet Italian sausage, and summer squash from our Ugly CSA on the fire, tightly wrapped in heavy duty foil. Just toss with a little oil, salt and pepper.
2) Less toys. The less I gave them, the more they just played with rocks and stuff. I brought some old yogurt containers to use as buckets.
3) We NEED to get some kind of kitchen organizer. Our campsite was a total mess and when we had to leave in a hurry when Marko got hurt, it was terrible.
4) Meeting other campers is starting to get more fun! We met another family and the kids played so well together that we exchanged addresses and hope to be pen pals.

A Moment of Quiet

Last weekend, M cut his ankle badly enough to need stitches, so he has been stuck at home. And by stuck, I mean wandering around Frick Park with Laurel and Marko trying to catch Pokemon instead of out doing his big training runs on the trails. He's antsy, but I think the forced rest is probably a good for him. I think he will get back out this week sometime.

Right now, he's gone with the kids and I'm trying to move as little as possible while I watch Max carefully eat little bits of sweet potato. It's very hot. Sticky midsummer Pittsburgh hot. I've had to really slow down our activities this past week and concentrate on keeping the kids hydrated and cool, especially Max. When we go out on a walk we tuck little ice packs under his stroller pad. I finally ventured out again to the pool with three kids and it was a success, ie no drownings or near drownings, but I will definitely be avoiding crowds for now.

Running Club has been going on for a good few weeks now and we've hit a place where families are stepping up to volunteer to lay the course and others bring ideas for tag games. We get a rotating crowd of regulars and between 15 and 20 people show up every week. I try to keep it to an hour so anyone with early bedtimes can jet out at 7, but a few families always stay a little later. If anyone wants to start a Kids Running Club, it's pretty easy. It's basically a hash, but shorter and without the beer. And plus a game of tag! We picked a day and a time to meet regularly and started posting it on Facebook as an event so people could share the link with their friends. On the event page, I wrote an FAQ to address common questions. We decided that we would run for about an hour and do four parts. First a warm up game that could be started as people arrived. Then stretching and review of the rules and introductions since new people show up all the time. We have three regular rules and one silly rule. 1) Be kind and have fun. 2) Take good care of your body. 3) Leave the park better than you found it. The silly rule is Go before you come (no bathrooms here!). Then we run the course which we've kept to about a 1/4 mile- 1/3 mile loop. Some kids do 2-3 laps, others just go once. In the future, I think I'd like to have a bunch of cheap stopwatches so they could each time themselves (instead of racing for 1st, 2nd, 3rd place). The best part is the cheer we do at the end. "2-4-6-8 Running Club is really great!" - I am actually surprised that the kids like it as much as they do but Marko chants it all week long.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing nothing but just barely getting through the day, but the fact that I was able to make something like Running Club happen means there's more here than just surviving. And that feels pretty good.

Summer Update

Sometimes I think 3 kids is not that many, and other times, well, let's just say it's a miracle that anything at all happens beyond breakfast.

Summer is passing quickly. Today we made our first attempt at going to the pool and it was a pretty successful trip, mostly because my friend Anne was there with her daughter and she entertained Marko and Laurel. I put them both in life jackets when we got there until I had Max situated and I could figure out the dynamics of this pool, since I hadn't been there in a while. But the massive thunderstorms of the morning seemed to have scared away any regulars and maybe canceled all the camp kids swimming so it was pretty empty the whole afternoon. Eventually I let Laurel take her life jacket off and test out her swimming skills from last summer and I am happy to report that she did pretty well. She just needs to work on her strokes and become a more efficient swimmer. Marko doesn't know how to swim at all, but now that I finally bought our pool tags, I think I'll try to teach him. With Laurel I watched this video, which is a bit old and has a pretty freaky intro, but has some very sound principles. She's good at holding her breath, diving, treading water and staying afloat, but definitely needs to learn some strokes so she can get across the pool more quickly.

I wish our city pools opened to the public in the morning. They open at 1, which is peak sunburn hour and also post-lunch nap time, but I think if I wait until 3 to go, we'll just not end up going. Luckily Max will sleep in his stroller pretty happily wherever we go.

Pool Memories

I can remember what the bottom of that pool felt like on my toes when I was big enough to walk across it. It wasn't very deep so I think I could probably do it when I was about 10. By then, my grandfather had put these solar heaters on the roof to heat the water, so if it was a sunny day the water would be almost too warm. But on an overcast day, it could be very cold. The thermometer hung from a metal wire into the water. It was easy to stub your toe on the bricks surrounding the pool. Then and now my favorite part of swimming was getting out of the cold water and laying in the sun on a towel until I was completely dry and then jumping back in. By the way, doesn't my mother's hair look beautiful in that picture? 

Camping with Kids

Each time we go camping with kids, we discover another way to make it easier or more fun. Plus, as the kids get older, there are more activities that are appropriate for us. This weekend we went to our friend Jack's parents' place on the Juniata River. We've been going up there every summer for many years....since before M and I got engaged and that was in 2002! M asked me to marry him there, actually, while we were on a canoe. His parents used to have a house there, but they sold that and kept some of the land next to it. Now there is a pavilion with a fireplace and a bathroom with plumbing, but everyone sleeps in campers or tents. Jack's sisters were visiting with their families as well, so there were lots of kids to play with and it was a really fun weekend.

We still haven't purchased a big tent that we can all sleep in. We have two backpacking tents that are in good shape, and even though we're doing a lot of car camping right now, I think we will probably do more backpacking style camping once the kids are bigger. Right now, M usually sleeps with Marko and Laurel in the tent and I sleep with Max in the truck.

We bought a water proof bag to put on our roof rack and this has made it so much easier to pack. Now we don't have things jammed into every corner and falling on the kids. Plus there's more room to bring various baby containment devices for Max. He's too heavy to hold all the time, so I brought his pack n play. A standard sized crib sheet fits perfectly over the top of it to provide some shade and protection from bugs. Also, it recently occurred to me to pack an EMPTY duffel bag for our dirty laundry. This way it was easy to keep it separate and nobody accidentally put on dirty underwear. Ahem, Marko. I also borrowed my friend's pop up sun shelter and that was perfect for Max to crawl around in when we went to the lake.

Now that the kids are older, there are lots of water activities that we can do. The kids went paddling in kayaks and swimming in the river. Laurel is getting to be a decent swimmer, but I keep her in a life jacket anyway and probably will for a long time (it's the law anyway, if she's in a kayak).  (Also, for PA residents, you have to have a safety whistle in addition to a life jacket now or you will get a fine!) M bought some fishing poles. Laurel is pretty good at casting! Marko likes the idea of fishing more than the actual activity, but he does like hanging out at the river bank.  They only caught one fish, too small to keep, but I like the idea of acquiring a survival skill and maybe getting beyond just fishing in stocked lakes.

As per usual, the kids didn't sleep quite enough, but that was partially due to the fireworks that were going off everywhere. We also did a terrible job of packing food and spent way too much money at Sheetz. However, that's part of the River House fun for us, so I'm chalking it up to passing on traditions to the kids.

We are getting so much better at unpacking and putting stuff away, so most everything is clean and dry and hung up and we're ready for our next camping adventure!

Summer Break: Week 2

I had a better plan this week, which included making advanced preparation of dinners and packing lunches the night before. We also planned in advance for the kids to visit my mom and sleep over on Monday, so the week got off to a mellow start.

We spent a LOT of time in the park this week. Hours and hours at a time. On Wednesday we went out at 9:30 and came back at 3. I finally got up the nerve to let the kids take their bikes out and was really pleased with how well Laurel did. We got her a new bike for Christmas, but learning to use the hand brakes and gears proved to be a little too much for her at the time. After a few crashes, we stashed it in the garage and forgot about it for a while. The Bowling Green area of the park is perfect for practicing because it's fairly flat and there's a pretty big stretch where she can go back and forth without needing to turn around....and I could stay on the picnic blanket with Max and still see the kids. After 3 days of practice, she's so much better. Marko is a speed demon on the strider bike. Some neighborhood kids joined us some days, other days we just hung out on our own.

The other thing that went really well this week was Running Club. At least 20 kids showed up on Thursday and we did a short cross country loop in the woods. The kids liked it so much that some of them did it 3 or 4 times! I was really impressed with their stamina. We also ran sprints and played some tag. My expectations when starting this were pretty loose. I hoped kids would come and would enjoy running around. I want the kids to have a really positive association with outdoor exercise because I think running and walking in outdoor spaces are some of the most beneficial activities you can engage in throughout your whole life. I am also hoping to see the kids start to lead their own games, organize themselves, manage the conflict that arises during competition and make up new games. I could see this starting to take hold and I'm really excited to see where it goes.

This week, we did two food rescue missions. We also got a letter from our friend who went to New Mexico for the summer, so we can write a letter back now. I completely forgot to write down the books we read for the summer reading program, but we did go to the library and get new ones. The kids like getting prizes, but they read no matter what.

There was a little bit of "I'm bored" - but I read that was good for kids and sparks creativity. And sure enough I would soon find them at the Lego table, or getting out craft stuff or playing with the baby.

I did a terrible job of sleeping enough this week so I'm on the brink of exhaustion, but other than that things are pretty great.

Notes to My Former Self

Hindsight is 20/20. Well, this isn't really hindsight since I'm still IN it. Like, way in it. I don't know what day it is but summer vacation is NOT almost over. Max started crawling and my vacuum cleaner has another mysterious clog, a terrible coincidence of events. Nonetheless, if I could go back in time and write a parenting book for my newbie parent self, it would have these tidbits in it....

1) It's always good to have some friends with kids older than yours. The bigger kids will play with your kids in ways you'll never be able to and it's a window to your future. Keeps things in perspective and reminds you that time keeps marching on, even when the days feel endless.
2) Never cook dinner at 5 o'clock. Little children are wild beast demons at 5 o'clock. Big children need rides to activities. STOP FIGHTING FIVE O'CLOCK! It will beat you down every time. Cook dinner at some other time and reheat it. Or have sandwiches.
3) Record your baby's laughter.
4) Seek out wide open spaces. Children do magical things with wide open spaces, and it's good for them to take their conflicts out of your ear shot (they solve their own problems) but still under your watchful gaze (they don't kill each other doing it).
5) Don't spend too much time figuring out when your children will sleep. Instead, figure out how you can squeeze in a solid eight hours in between nursing, nightmares, kids spilling water bottles on you, losing your spot in the bed and wandering the house looking for an uncluttered horizontal surface to fall down on and so forth.

Summer Break: Week 1

2-4-6-8 Running Club is really great!

Week 1 of Laurel's 8 week summer break is coming to a close. She specifically requested "no camps" this summer. I love her school, but the schedule is kind of intense for kindergarten....8:30-3:30 every day and no nap. I can totally understand why she wants some unstructured time. And luckily, I can accommodate that very easily as a SAHM! I knew that I couldn't just let the summer unfold without any planning though, so we made some lists. Summer Reading Program at the library. Running Club (more on that below). A Duckie Tour. Painting on the porch. Visiting every pool in the city. Volunteering somewhere. I made a loose schedule so we could be motivated to get out of the house with enough time to get back in the afternoons for naps for the boys. I thought it would be amazing.

Then Monday happened. It was terrible. 

The kids fought with each other all morning. They only wanted to watch tv. It was hot. Max was having trouble going to sleep or nursing with all the distractions. The house was almost immediately destroyed. They took out all the art supplies and every toy. Marko stole some jelly out of the fridge and was eating it with a spoon but also leaving big sticky globs all over the place until I caught him. I immediately started researching which camps still had slots opened.  Then my mom came to the rescue and picked up Laurel. She had a lovely two day vacation at their house. When I went to pick her up, we left Marko there for a night. It takes a village, people. However, there were some good times this week. On Thursday we launched our Running Club. We do a warm up, stretching, run a course or some sprints and then play games that involve running. Laurel loves to run, but pretty much hates all sports that involve balls and passing them off to teammates. Her favorite thing to do is play tag. This week was the first session and 12 kids came, even though it was pouring down rain. I think it's going to be a big hit this summer. 

Bagel rescue complete!

Another thing we did was visit Creative Reuse to stock up on paper and random junk for crafting. Apparently a science teacher recently cleaned out her classroom because they have a lot of pyrex beakers and pipettes and scales and other fun science-y things for sale right now. Marko and Laurel spent hours on the front porch assembling projects. Max likes to stand in his exersaucer and watch them. I need to add glue - a LOT more glue - to my shopping list, though. We also went to our usual playgroup, which meets outside in the summer. The playgroup is hosted by the pastor's wife at the Pittsburgh New Church and they have a great space outside for kids to play. There's also a school there, so they are very unfussy about kids playing in the dirt and mud, constructing fairy houses, climbing the trees, etc. And on Friday we did our "Food Rescue Mission" and diverted three boxes of bagels to a senior high rise. One of my strongest childhood memories is volunteering for various things with my dad and siblings. We used to go to a nursing home and do crafts with the residents. And finally, we wrote letters to our school friends who went away to New Mexico for the summer. I love getting mail and it's really fun to do pen pals with Laurel now because she can write her own letters.

So, even though there was a fair amount of crying and gnashing of teeth, when I look back at the week and see all that we did, I feel pretty happy. Next week my mom will take the kids for an overnight, and we'll do pretty much the same thing, except maybe add a trip to the creek or to the spray park.

Single Track

I can still hear crying when I lock the door behind me, but M shoos me on. I can actually "hear" it all the way down the street, but at that point it's actually just a noise stuck in my head. Once I turn down the first gravel path into the park, my head starts to clear a little. By the time I get to the single track turnoff, my shoulders have lost their tension and my arms are swinging freely. My breathing slows and deepens. After an hour or so of walking in the park, I feel recharged.

I spend a lot of time with my kids right now. This is not a bad thing, because I have fun with reading aloud and painting and playing with Legos. Poop, pee, vomit and blood do not phase me at all (loose teeth are another story). I have remarkable patience for answering the same question over and over again. I would say that 90% of the time I'm really enjoying myself as a stay-at-home-mom. But still, the twenty-four-hour-ness of the job can be taxing. Taking a break is key. I try to do different things....hang out with friends at a bar, go to the coffee shop to write, or take a yoga class. But none of those are as effective as an hour of walking on single track paths in the woods.

It's rained a bit the last week or so and the trails are very muddy and slick. I like the focus that is required to remain upright with each step. I like how my eyes adjust to the wall of green and brown surroundings and start to pick up all the variations in color and texture. I like how the city noises fade into the background and what I mostly hear are birds and squirrels.

When I get back home, M has generally succeeded in getting all the children into bed and will have a dish towel slung over his shoulder, while he cleans up the dinner dishes. Our evenings together are much more pleasant when I've been walking. My birthday is coming up this week and the best thing about getting older is figuring out what makes me feel good and not worrying about whether it's what I should be doing or getting. Frankly, a haircut causes me great anxiety and a pedicure would probably put me over the edge. Walking in the woods does the trick, though.

Stop Biting Her Face!

My house is a giant mess. Marko gets into everything. Anytime I sit down, I sit on a raisin or stale Cheerio or a blob of jelly, even on days when I know I didn't serve anyone jelly (how do they reach that high?). Laurel's preferred activity is to make "art" out of little bits of garbage she finds. Max leaves puddles of drool. Most nights, I tidy the house but it takes only 5 minutes for it to look like burglars rifled through all our stuff but decided to steal nothing, because everything we own is a broken down piece of crap, or if it was once good, has since been destroyed by the children. But then we have a morning like this one, everyone hanging out in the dining room, painting and listening to music, Max looking on from his high chair. I have time for a second cup of coffee. All is calm.

I am learning that there needs to be a balance between structure and flexibility. I made a daily routine that includes post-dinner outside play, and that has turned out to be a really good thing for bedtime. Playing outside after dinner has become this privilege that I can use to leverage good behavior. I didn't intend for that, but that's they see it as a reward. We play outside before dinner, too, but for some reason, it doesn't seem to be viewed the same in their eyes. I'm thinking ahead to summer time, when I'll have all three kids all day long again and trying to get ready for that. I give them a bucket of warm water (because it's still kind of cool here) and some shovels and containers from the recycling bin and they pretty much entertain themselves with mud.

Laurel and Marko fight a lot. I try not to intervene, but you have to draw the line at face-biting! (Seriously, I said, "No face-biting" today.) If I stay back, usually they move through the conflict in 5 minutes or less. But there are days when they seem to pick at each other all day long.