One Day

When does day start? I might consider it 5 am, because Laurel wakes up then. But it is dark and I can usually coax her back to sleep for a few more hours, so let's say 7:30. Perhaps I wake up a little early and manage to get dressed or make a cup of tea.

She usually wakes up crying. Not in a terribly distraught way, just in a, "I don't know how else to let you know I'm awake" way. She smiles when she sees me. I nurse her and change her diaper and we go downstairs to greet daddy and wiggle on the couch. She smiles and I smile back. I can't help it. I snatch small bites of breakfast in between entertaining her. She plays with a few toys now, her little hands getting better at grasping them every day.

More nursing. More playing. A diaper or two. Laurel is happiest when she is naked so I try to let her wiggle around without her diaper on for a little while every day. While she wiggles and coos, I tidy up around upstairs, pausing after I put each item away to exchange smiles with her, as I lean over her crib.

Around 9:30, it's time for a nap. Nurse, rock, ever so gently lay her down in her crib, or in the rocking cradle and crank the static up high.

Madly (but oh so quietly) dash around the downstairs, tidying up whatever chaos is leftover from the night before. Type a paper. Answer emails. Do a few dishes.

She wakes up crying. I nurse her and she perks up immediately. Seems so happy to see me. We smile at each other for a while. Change a diaper. We go downstairs and she wiggles in the Pack N Play. She's working very hard right now to turn herself over, but try as she might, she can't do it. So she lays there on her back, arching, and flexing her legs. I work out in front of the tv, while she watches.

Throw in a load of laundry. Change a diaper. More nursing.

Check the weather. If it is above 20 degrees, we are good to go for a walk. Get coat, keys and shoes before sticking her in the carrier. She wails until we get outside, then promptly falls asleep. Walk until a proper amount of nap time has passed, then head home.

Laurel wakes up. Cries. Change a diaper. Nurse. Play on the couch.

Think about starting dinner. Get out an onion. Abandon onion to change a diaper.

More nursing. She's tired and fussy. Work hard to get her to nap. Give up after excessive crying. Stick her in the Moby Wrap.

Crying continues. Check the diaper. Go outside to pace back and forth on the porch. The traffic noises put her to sleep.

Back to the kitchen and the onion. Chop vegetables carefully while Laurel dozes in the Moby. She wakes up. Put her in the stroller so she can watch me.

M comes home. Dinner is half done, he'll do the rest. Take Laurel upstairs to start bedtime routine. Change a diaper. Read some books. Dim the lights. Nurse. Swaddle. Nurse. Change another diaper. Re-swaddle. Turn up static. Lay her down, ever so gently and tip-toe out of the room.

Dinner is finished and kept warm in the oven by M. Eat quickly, one ear towards the nursery. Homework. Shower. Watch TV.

Go to bed way too late. Fall deeply asleep, and sleep without dreams.

It seems a little repetitive when I recall it. But the kind of life where you can literally spend 30 minutes just exchanging smiles is the best kind of life.

Life is good.

Scratch that, hooray for snow days!

I'm not exactly recanting my previous posts (still no snow plows). But I'm sitting in a peaceful house, snug and warm, with my sister and my daughter. We have food and heat and love. Danna is reading to Laurel before we put her to bed. Life has changed a lot in our house since the last time Danna was here, and it's so fun to show her how and have her be a part of it. So, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Pitt, you suck, too!

Ok, ok. Pitt did close down for the first time since 9/11, so props for that.

However, it would be very helpful if you would actually let people know, so they don't clog up the roads trying to get in to work!

We found out about the highly unusual closure through the rumor mill. I think M got a text from one of our friends. It was during the Super Bowl, but I checked my email and the University web site and saw nothing. I also checked my phone for an official text, since I subscribe to the Emergency Notification system. Nothing there either. I still haven't received anything. They did post a message to the university website, but they put it in very unobtrusive text in the "News" sidebar, where the other stories are things like "Dr. So and So to lecture at the School of Public Health" and "GPSA collecting toiletries for Haiti". Not exactly the place I would look for urgent notification. At least put it in red or something. A message did finally show up on my.pitt.edu today, but well after the time I would have started off for work had I not known about the closure through other means.

M and I ventured out to go to the chiropractor this afternoon and it is still a sloppy mess. It's obvious where the snow plows have come through because there are banks of snow on the curb. We didn't go too far, but were wondering how Public Works can, in good conscience, claim that they have cleared all primary arteries. It's so obvious that Penn and Braddock Avenues have not been treated at all. And with the sunshine melting the top layer of hard packed snow, I expect another night of icy streets.

Tomorrow's forecast has another winter weather warning, and I can't wait to see what another 6-10 inches on top of the hard-packed snow covered roads will do to traffic.

A Poor Excuse, Pittsburgh. Shame on you!

I just received an update that Pittsburgh will not be taking any more phone calls into the 311 hotline regarding snow removal. Garbage and recycling will not be picked up and residents are urged not to drive. The National Guard has been called in to assist with snow removal.

Shame on you, Pittsburgh! Yes, this is a storm for the record books. M and I can attest to to the hazardous conditions of the roads, as we ventured out to my parents' last night to watch the Super Bowl (Go Saints!). We live on a main road, and took only main roads to get to my parents house. The main roads in the city remain snow packed. There was little evidence that either plowing nor salt or cinder application had been done. And yet, as soon as we crossed the river (and thus crossed the city limits) the roads were mostly bare and definitely passable. We saw salt trucks. Traffic was moving slower than normal and in some places, snow remained in the right hand lane. Some tree branches still needed to be removed. However, it was obvious that the outlying communities had trucks out during and after the storm. It was clear by the conditions of the roads, and well...we actually saw more salt trucks out there!

Since we recently received a warning about clearing our own sidewalks within 24 hours of snow, and since we (well, M and my dad) worked hard to do so, it is more than a little annoying that there has been little evidence of the City's attempt to clear the roads from this storm.

I saw very few Public Works trucks doing snow removal of any sort, either during the storm or since that time (and it's been at least 36 hours since the snow STOPPED at this point). I can verify that most people are staying off the road...we live within viewing distance of a major intersection and it's really quiet out there. So this idea that plows are having difficulty getting around because of abandoned vehicles or foolish drivers clogging up the roadways is just absurd to me. People have given Public Works plenty of time and space to clear the roads, but at a certain point, we simply need to get from Point A to Point B....essential personnel for hospitals have to get to work. And people like my parents, who were stranded at our home and respectfully stayed off the roads during and directly after the storm, eventually needed to get home. And what about all those folks without water or electricity who need to move to relatives' homes, or to warming centers?

And Pittsburgh doesn't have the building density issues that a city like New York or Philadelphia would have. There are lots of places for the snow to go! I don't live back in one of Pittsburgh's many hilly neighborhoods with narrow streets. I live on the corner of two of the busiest streets in the East End and the road conditions are so deplorable that ambulances and fire trucks can barely get by.

And then to add to my frustration, I hear that Luke Ravenstahl was stuck in the Laurel Highlands where he went for his birthday. YOU WENT TO THE MOUNTAINS FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY DURING ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED SNOW STORMS OF THE LAST ONE HUNDRED YEARS!!!!????

Happy 30th, Luke. Hope it was worth it. And Pittsburgh Public Works, observe the rest of Allegheny County as an example, and maybe send your trucks out to actually do something in the next day or two.

A visit and a snowstorm...

Danna made it in to Pittsburgh, just ahead of the snowstorm. My parents picked her up at the airport and brought her here to meet Laurel. But by the time we finished dinner it was too treacherous for them to leave, so we're all still snowed in here! Here's a picture of Danna's first encounter with her niece.

There is an incredible amount of snow here. M and my dad spent all morning digging us out, and it's still not all gone! No way will we get a ticket from the city for Failure to Remove Snow! They already attacked the front sidewalk. Our street has not even been plowed yet! The problem is what do we do with all this snow on our tiny city lot? Our yard is already full of snow.

Oh, how life changes...

Four years ago, we were plotting our "early retirement". I was feeling seriously burned out from my Teach For America work, and M was sick of his 50 mile daily commute on the Phoenix freeways. We weren't happy. It occurred to us that we could simply purge our lives of anything that didn't make us happy. I told my principal I wouldn't be coming back the following year and started selling our stuff on Craigslist. We planned a summer cross country road trip and started writing this blog.

Three years ago, we were getting ready to head to Georgia to start hiking north. It was an exciting, but scary time. I didn't know if I had it in me to actually do a thru-hike. I was feeling a little scared about sleeping in the woods every night.

Two years ago, we had recently moved into our apartment in Bloomfield. I was in the best shape of my life, having just finished the AT a few months before. I had (what I thought was going to be) a great special ed job. I still took deep pleasure in daily hot showers and electric lights.

One year ago, we didn't yet know I was pregnant. We had recently bought our house, and Pete and Meg and Lucy were living with us. We were planning a wine-tasting trip to Niagara Falls for M's birthday. My Grandma was sick. I had no idea how much vomiting I would do in the coming year. Or the indescribable joy that would arrive with Laurel.

At any point in the last four years, it would have been really difficult for me to predict where I would be a year from then. I don't know why I'm thinking about this right now. Maybe because Laurel is starting to try and scoot around on her tummy, and I imagine I'll be spending a lot of time chasing after her at this time next year. I'm looking forward to seeing her personality emerge.

So does life get more predictable once you have kids? Or less?

This is Very Hard Work

Here is Laurel concentrating very hard on her latest skill. She can roll herself over from this position, which makes her kind of a danger to herself, and keeps me on my toes. She's spent a good part of the last few days lying on her back, flexing her entire body and grunting as she attempts to do who knows what. I think she's trying to play the "push" game, which Mark taught her, only she wants to play it by herself. Let me explain. A few weeks ago, Mark started doing this thing where he holds her feet down with her knees bent and says push, and she pushes herself backwards. Well now she just can't get enough of this "game" and if nobody is holding her feet, she tries to do it herself. However, this mostly results in the flexing and the grunting, and not much actual movement. Thus the serious look.

Moments Here and There

What I will remember from these days is the Sunday morning cuddling, all three of us in bed together, awake but rubbing sleep from our eyes. All of us taking turns smiling and stretching and Laurel cooing in response to our good mornings.

I will remember her fast asleep in the Moby Wrap, fingers in her mouth, warm and snug against my chest. Strolling through the park or the grocery store, no matter where I am, I take my time and go slowly. I will remember her waking up suddenly when there is a loud noise, only momentarily frightened until she catches my eye, breathes in my scent, and she remembers where she is and drifts off again.

I will remember the way that she kicks her skinny naked legs when I change her diaper. Strong legs, she is constantly pushing against anything that brushes her feet, pushing herself up my body when I hold her. Stiff as a board when I try to prop her on my knee to burp her.

I will remember both of us falling asleep in the big chair in her room at 3 am, the way her body melts into a deeply relaxed state when I nurse her, except for her hands, which she balls into tight little fists and holds against her face. I will remember looking down at the fuzzy softness of her baby hair, the way her ears are exactly like mine. Reading Good Night, Moon every single night, and whispering hush when I turn out the lights.

Will I remember my meals always getting cold before I can eat them? Too fast showers, and spit up on the shoulder of my last clean shirt? Numbing fatigue and fuzzy thoughts. I doubt it...the second she flashes one of her ear to ear grins, I think only of how much I love her, that's she's the most beautiful thing in the world, and that I can't wait to see what she does next.

Daddy Time

Laurel at almost 12 weeks

She'll be 12 weeks on Friday and is changing so much. She can hold on to rattles and shake them around. She loves sucking on her hand. She has graduated to the "facing out" position in the Baby Bjorn, and she's so curious about the world, she always wants to be someplace where she can look around. She smiles a lot, and recently learned to yell, which sounds very different from her cries. We are having so much fun with her.