...perhaps this will convince you. This is actual training literature for folks who probably work on your retirement account. Consider it 'Estate Planning 101' or what have you, but let me reiterate that this is for adults, cut and pasted directly from the actual training materials. only the company name has been removed, to keep you all guessing:
Peter Piranha has an IRA with [Major Mutual Fund Company]. Mary Whimple kills him with the harpoon in the repository. Captain Moonfish is the primary beneficiary. Montey Glowlight is the secondary beneficiary. Misty Silvertip kills Captain Moonfish the day after Peter Piranha, in the galley with the fishing line. Who gets the money?
Captain Moonfish’s estate, since he was still alive after Peter Piranha’s death.
"with the harpoon in the repository"?! If this was meant to be a joke, my compliments to whomever managed to slip that in without a swift trip to HR. Nice work with the names, too. It's like a psychedelic aquarium. Here's another:
Misty Silvertip has an IRA with [Major Mutual Fund Company]. Montey Glowlight kills her with the spear in the gangway. Mona Porthole is the primary beneficiary. Captain Moonfish is the secondary beneficiary. Mona Porthole was killed the day before Misty Silvertip. Montey Glowlight killed her in the eatery with the fishing line. Mary Whimple was killed an hour after Misty Silvertip in the den, with the candelabra by Peter Piranha. Who gets the money?
Captain Moonfish (secondary), since Mona Porthole (primary) preceded Misty Silvertip in death.
Seriously, folks. Spear in the gangway. I couldn't make this stuff up. Rest assured your money is in good hands.